Valentine's Strategist Pillows

'You could give it to your mom with a huge Valentine card.'

'I sent out for everything.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

My Dream Valentine

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

Dating the efficiency expert.

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Mergers or acquisitions.

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"We're making progress."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

'I take playing footsie very seriously, Jane. You may have won the first two rounds, but let's make it three out of five.'

"But gosh, Ursula, together we'd be exactly what every major advertiser is trying to reach."

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

'I'm thinking merger.'