Romantic Strategist Pillows

Mergers or acquisitions.

'John this is where you should declare your undying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

'I hate to rush you, but I'm getting a leg cramp.'

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

Happy Birthday 'Happy Birthday! Sex or Chess?'

"How romantic! A handwritten prenuptial!"

'This is Tina, As an IT guy I recognize the need for backup if things don't go well,'

"Pay now or pay later."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'Harold was a lot more attentive when our relationship was on the line.'

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

'They're lovely, but I want you to know I never say yes on first negotiations.'

'We got married on Cup Final day so that he wouldn't forget our anniversary.'

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."

"If we go halves do I still get sex afterwards?"

The Daisy: 2005

Sex! thought Byron. What a great Idea! Will share my wonderful idea with Inez!

A man smoking a post-coital cigarette sees a woman leaving a note in a suggestions box.

"Tonight we'll make love in the shadows of the great pyramids."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

'I'm getting mixed signals!'

'I'm flattered you want to share your life with me, but since this is our date, why don't we just trying sharing music files and see how that goes?'

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

"Any healthy relationship requires fundamental acting skills."

"I hit 'like' on a revealing photo she'd posted. But then I worried that was too forward of me."

"There's only one thing that could bring us world peace, little buddy."

"Today our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington."

"Hypothetically speaking, how would you suggest a normal man attract a spectacular woman?"

What's the best way to avoid getting stuck in a serious relationship? Little buddy … Aren't you putting the cart before the horse? You haven't even had a date in … what it it, two years? … Which means I'm due for an extra-clingy relationship any day now. Well ... I suppose that is in keeping with Randy's postulate #498 ... The cling-i-tude of a relationship is directly proportional to the amount of time it takes to get into it. Is there any formula for avoiding that? Maybe if I carry the one?

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"And every time I start to get the least bit serious about a Republican he turns out to be a Log Cabin Republican."

"Great PowerPoint, Kevin, but the answer is no."

"I thought I'd start things off with the 'shock and awe' phase of the operation."