Heart-and-soul Strategist Pillows

"Yeah, Bob's an old flame. I had to dig a fire line to keep him at bay."

'I sent out for everything.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Dating the efficiency expert.

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Mergers or acquisitions.

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"We're making progress."

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"But gosh, Ursula, together we'd be exactly what every major advertiser is trying to reach."

Success

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."