Vain Pillows

The casual selfie

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Scarpia from Tosca

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

Doggone

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Paper Boy

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

More Pardons

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

TV-Mirror.

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Antiques