Vain Pillows

The casual selfie

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

Czarcasm

Doggone

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Scarpia from Tosca

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Paper Boy

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

More Pardons

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

Antiques

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

TV-Mirror.