Sinful Satirist Pillows

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

Confessional Options

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

Special Place in Hell...

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'Even More Disciples'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

2pm meet your Creator

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'