Sinful Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Saint Peter wants to borrow a lawyer.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

St. Elmo's fired.

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

"In heaven there are no trees."

Special Place in Hell...

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

'Well, John, in the past two years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done.'

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

'Always remember, son...there's an unsuspecting public out there.'

"Everything has been done to death."

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'We also sell water for eighty dollars a glass.'

Meditating cat. 'Hi! You have reached the 4th state of consciousness. We're not in right now...

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

"Now that I'm enlightened, I have to admit: I kind of miss the suffering."

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

"And, if you don't have an attorney, we have millions of them."

"I'll have Envy for starter, Greed for Main and Lust to follow."

'Scaling back public healthcare would be fine, but they'd better not mess with our congressional perks...'

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

'That's right. I took all your money and didn't teach you a darn thing -- enlightening, isn't it?'

Priest

'Nice to see your dept made a profit, Kimble.'

'This is God I Missed you in church last Sunday.'

"As far as I'm concerned, we didn't get out a moment too soon."

Suggest box leads to resignation box

"It appeals to pride, greed, lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice."

'It's amazing how fast people become big tippers.'

"Don't sit under the Bodhi Tree with anyone else but me."