Sinful Humor Aficionado Pillows

Deadly Sins Dept. Envy. Lust. Sloth. Pride. Greed. Wrath. Gluttony. At times it seems like it should be, but "oversharing" is not a deadly sin.

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

The Thinker. The Listener

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

Cat reading Rommel biography.

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

'... Get set... Wait! We forgot the water!'

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

Special Place in Hell...

"In heaven there are no trees."

'Well, John, in the past two years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done.'

"All I'm getting is the effects of global warming on the ice cap..."

'Always remember, son...there's an unsuspecting public out there.'

Next Terrifying Military Threats

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

"Everything has been done to death."

"Allow me to explain the terms of our easy payment plan."

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

'Scaling back public healthcare would be fine, but they'd better not mess with our congressional perks...'

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

'He should have planned his wardrobe this morning - his Flies undone...'

"And, if you don't have an attorney, we have millions of them."