Sinful Humor Aficionado Gifts

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

Cat reading Rommel biography.

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

"In heaven there are no trees."

Special Place in Hell...

'... Get set... Wait! We forgot the water!'

'Well, John, in the past two years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done.'

"All I'm getting is the effects of global warming on the ice cap..."

"Allow me to explain the terms of our easy payment plan."

"Everything has been done to death."

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

'Always remember, son...there's an unsuspecting public out there.'

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'He should have planned his wardrobe this morning - his Flies undone...'

'Scaling back public healthcare would be fine, but they'd better not mess with our congressional perks...'

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

"And, if you don't have an attorney, we have millions of them."