Sinful Humor Lover Gifts

Smoking in Hell. Smoker revels in Hells smoking policy.

Racing to Hell

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Look! No hands!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'It was great. I hated it.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Hammer

"That's our new church mascot."

"You are still here."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Where Are They Now?'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

"I'll have dessert first."

The finer points of marriage.

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

New anti-obesity cookbook.

Healthy Eating Casualties

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"