Vacation Virtuosos Gifts

'Tell one more person where to go and you're fired.'

'I've been sentenced to five weeks while they go on holidays... What about you guys?'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

The Work-from-Home-Polka

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"Actually, I'm on vacation, but I enjoy spending it here watching everybody else sweat."

Leonard Cohen

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Alexander Pope

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

Dame Edna Sitwell

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

Exercise Car.

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

"Welcome to Sandy Beach. Everything prohibited."

"But we ARE practising, Mum."

"It's lovely here but there's a bit of weather around."

Natalie Merchant

'I hate these romance cruises.'

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

"I always knew I wanted to be a voice-over artist because, as a child, I was British."

"Next time you ask the maid for extra towels, be sure to tip her."

Maurice Ravel

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Why are you cancelling your trip to Switzerland?"

"You and your package tours, Harold!"