Vacation Virtuoso Gifts

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"Why are you cancelling your trip to Switzerland?"

"Actually, I'm on vacation, but I enjoy spending it here watching everybody else sweat."

"It's lovely here but there's a bit of weather around."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'Beach snowman.'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Coleridge'

Writer

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Poetry repairman

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Music Freak.

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Writer Blinds Shakespeare in Shame.