Vacation Virtuoso Gifts

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"Why are you cancelling your trip to Switzerland?"

"Actually, I'm on vacation, but I enjoy spending it here watching everybody else sweat."

"It's lovely here but there's a bit of weather around."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'Beach snowman.'

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Writer

Poetry repairman

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Alexander Pope

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'