Vacationing Virtuoso Gifts

'...and don't treat the place like a hotel!'

"Next time you ask the maid for extra towels, be sure to tip her."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Airlines

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Heading off with a packed bag

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"Life after death"

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Travelogue

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

"I'd like one of your bucket and spade holidays."

An office worker daydreams about a new poster.

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

'I'm a voice over artist.'