Vacation Venturer Gifts

'...Yes, we had a really lovely holiday thank you - Oh, apart from there wasn't any water in the swimming pool.'

"Worst tourist trap I've ever been in."

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"Someplace where the currency has already melted down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Airlines

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Tourists in Egypt

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Heading off with a packed bag

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

'That's funny, everybody else is going downstream.'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

Travelogue

"Life after death"

Summertime.

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!