Utensil Warriors Gifts

Lockdown Day 45: "From now on we eat food that doesn't require utensils!"

Another day at work would be one too many...

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Work Slave

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

The secret lives of household things.

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

'I need a smarter computer.'

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

"Bob's a tool belt."

"A watched file never loads..."

'Keep fit.'

A bald eagle approaches middle age

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?