Utensil Warriors T-Shirts

Lockdown Day 45: "From now on we eat food that doesn't require utensils!"

Another day at work would be one too many...

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Work Slave

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

The secret lives of household things.

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

'I need a smarter computer.'

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

"A watched file never loads..."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

'Stop mumbling, George! We all had to start somewhere...'

"Bob's a tool belt."

A bald eagle approaches middle age

'Keep fit.'