Useless Facts Gifts

Before the Internet

Funky Facts: Football.

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"I'm a social scientist, Michael. That means I can't explain electricity or anything like that, but if you ever want to know about people I'm your man."

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

The Lemmings of Montauk

The Month of July

Funky Facts: Elephants.

'Listen to this: Each drop of water we drink may have once been in a glacier, Attila the Hun's stew, Mike Tyson's sweat, Liberace's bathwater, drool from a...'

Did you know a stretched-out intestine can reach all the way to the vending machines> Boy, you learn something new every surgery.

Superstition City

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"Wow! I never knew the Vancouver Island marmot is among the rarest animals in the world! Pretty cool, huh?"

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Wayne. Wayne once sat in a bath full of jelly for 24 hours.'

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

'Pass the ketch up dear.'

BARBER

"But you really can't trust the media."

"So Carruthers!...it wasn't a legend after all!"

"Well, you call them fairy tales, I call them fake news."

"The sudden resignation caught many by surprise. 'I wish to spend more time with my family,' he said. When contacted, his family replied, 'Who?'"

"This is a mine of useless information."

'This says that under certain conditions cows become combustible... I'd hate to be one of those.'

Funky Facts: Dogs.

HEARSE XING

'Huh. Listen to this. 'While our eyes remain the same size, our noses and ears continue to grow throughout our lives.''

Ed's attempt to one-up google: Answers to the questions you never asked.

The Man Who Knew Way Too Much

'Come back you fool! That is just a myth! We lemmings don't really do that!'

The Misinformed Pageant - "The capital of Mexico is Mexico town..." "The duck is the largest flightless bird..." "Consuming buttered scones can lead to pregnancy."

Over 2500 left handed people die each year using products designed for right handed people.

World's tallest potato contest