Urban Hermit Gifts

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Cellphone Islands

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

OM, SWEET OM

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"The meaning of life! Have you tried Googling it?"

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"Free why-fi.”

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

'One of us will tell you how to achieve peace and harmony just as soon as we settle who called dibs on this ledge.'

'Enlightenment does that to some people.'

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'