Social Hermits Gifts

'Ted hates parties.'

Cellphone Islands

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

OM, SWEET OM

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"Free why-fi.”

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"Apparently, he's been trapped in his cubicle since 1944. Do you want to tell him World War II is over, or shall I?"

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'Enlightenment does that to some people.'

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."

"Master, I'm looking for enlightenment!"

'It's a good thing everything is illusory - My keister hurts like crazy!'