Modern-day Hermit Gifts

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

OM, SWEET OM

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"Free why-fi.”

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

'Hey! - Do I have to separate you two?'

'Enlightenment does that to some people.'

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."

'It's a good thing everything is illusory - My keister hurts like crazy!'

'Government regulations are simple and explicit - ONE guru to a mountain top!'

"Master, I'm looking for enlightenment!"

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

It's true what they say: Life at the top can be lonely...