Social Media Hermit Gifts

Mortimer J. Hackworth: 'Offline forever.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Connected to Technology.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'After his web site got going we bought this 5000 sq. ft. home, but he never leaves his computer.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

Like.

#notblessed

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Apparently, he's been trapped in his cubicle since 1944. Do you want to tell him World War II is over, or shall I?"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

Cable Bill.

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."