Upstate Adventurer Gifts

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Skiing.

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

World Tour.

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

First aid in mountains

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

Happy Hour

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Draw your own path."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Arf! Arf!'

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"How's the salmon?"

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"All the celebrities come here."

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'