Mountain Adventurer Gifts

"I'm not a guru. I'm just hanging out here till my renovation is done."

Guru Warranty,

'The meaning of life? Let me Google that for you.'

Pure Adrenaline.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'You won't find a nicer view for the price they're asking!'

'Any further question,just email me...'

First aid in mountains

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

Helicopter Rescues.

'Think about this, Kid...If I knew the meaning of life, would I be spending mine, sitting on the top of a mountain?'

"The Yeti probably thinks he can hide in plain sight, which, of course, is impossible. But he's much too stupid to know that."

Mountain rescue dog with flavoured water as opposed to brandy in barrel.

"You see, manners are not dead: I've received a "Thank You" card from the guy I saved last week..."

'Now that's what I call a rescue dog.'

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

"I like working in Search and Rescue: people are so genuinely happy when you reach them..."

"The truth is, there's more money in medication than meditation."

Downhill skier collides with mountain climbers.

'What, no keg of brandy anymore? Just a wine list by the glass?'

"Don't patronize me. Nobody cares what I think anymore. Go ask Dr. Phil."

Happy Hour

'Sorry, man. No butting heads to show male dominance for me today. I've got a migraine.'

'When you said 'walkies'...'

'Either it's Nirvana, or he's passed out from lack of oxygen again.'

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '

"This is ridiculous, we've walked miles, let's get a cab."

'Now, don't quote me without permission - all this wisdom is copyrighted.'

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

'No, you're looking for the hotel Ever-Rest. Boy, you really did get lost.'

"All the celebrities come here."

'Hi! I just moved to the next mountain - may I borrow a cup of Karma?'

The Yeti Hunters

Climbing Mount Rushmore

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'