Upliftment Guru Gifts

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

Businesswoman Empowerment

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Exercise Class

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

The trim reaper

"He's gonna be in and out for a while, so we should write something funny on his forehead."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'What are you eating now?'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Always expect the best

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

Holiday Aerobics.

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Psychiatry in the Park

"Remember, it's the journey not the destination."

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.