Upliftment Guru Gifts

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

Businesswoman Empowerment

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Muscles

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

The trim reaper

"He's gonna be in and out for a while, so we should write something funny on his forehead."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Holiday Aerobics.

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Psychiatry in the Park

Always expect the best

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Remember, it's the journey not the destination."

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...