Upgrade Addict Gifts

Colin liked to keep up with the latest technologies.

Tonight, on "Cops," a local man leads police on a high-speed chase through Best Buy. It all began when clerks noticed he was coming in every day to upgrade different obsolete items. When he ran out of his own obsolete hardware, he began rummaging through other customers' pockets looking for old cellphones to upgrade. He zoomed free, but cops had no trouble tracking the perp down. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't - Maybe next time "Rudy" will think twice before personalizi

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Man feeding his computer money.

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

"Noooooooooooo!"

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

"Honey, what's the weather like outside?" "Hold on, let me check..."

"I need a more interactive you."

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

For some reason, whenever they're around me, they get out their phones.

"I've been window-shopping..."

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

Reading room

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

The book that will not be denied!

Man-mobile

The Wiki Man.

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

After the upgrade, crashes were far less frequent and seldom fatal.

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

'Do you think we can afford better toilets?'...

I can be upgraded, can you?

"Hey everyone, it's day three and I'm still going strong."

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"