Upgrade Aficionado Gifts

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

Kindly readers, scientific literature has long established that women who spend a lot of time together synchronize their hormonal cycles. I believe I have discovered an analogous phenomenon in men. They too synchronize their cycles. What cycles? Their upgrade cycles! Look carefully, if you will, at the way men who like or work in close quarters seem to develop similar cycles for upgrading phones, televisions and other gadgets. I got a new phone! I got a new butter churn! He's right! Aaaahhh!!!

STRIP Hambone: expensive new computer model

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Inflating Boobs.

Man feeding his computer money.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

Online Shopping.

Roads with a view.

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

Jeremy Clarkson.

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

No Caption. (A kangaroo with a baby in it's pouch is seen hoping with markings on it's rump reminiscent of family figurines on car rear windshields.)

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

I love my motor.

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)