Upcoming Parenthood Gifts

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"She's been so creative lately."

A midwife holding a baby

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Rocking horse

Knight feeding his kids.

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"When did she start crawling?"

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"