Untidy Artist Gifts

'Don't just sit there buffering, clean up you room.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

'You could say this is how my husband and I support local arts.'

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

'...and this is the Mess.'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

Recycling - Perfectly good bits you can't recycle or give away...

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

A dog whose nose is a gun.

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'To be honest, I have my doubts about these modern dress versions.'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

"I made it from a lost space probe."

'Allow me to suck the electricity out.'

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'You're not creating another thing till you've tidied your room!'