Unplugged Session Fan Gifts

'Bloody good idea!'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

Man practising the violin.

"Krazy straw"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"And, little by little, over the next ten minutes, he was able to dig his way to freedom."

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"Try taking baby steps."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

'Of course I'm confused, I keep dreaming I'm an insomniac.'