Unplugged Session Fan Gifts

'Bloody good idea!'

DIY marriage counseling.

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Krazy straw"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Man practising the violin.

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"And, little by little, over the next ten minutes, he was able to dig his way to freedom."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

"Try taking baby steps."

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

'Of course I'm confused, I keep dreaming I'm an insomniac.'