Unplugged Avenger Gifts

"IT says they can't solve your problem... I'm from Anger Management."

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"What am I up to? I'm collecting human rubbish floating on the ocean and I'll dump it in front of their parliament!"

'I see, from your resume, that you have lost your last two jobs because of lateness.'

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

Health and safety nightmare.

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

"I'm convinced ... we have PCB's, DDT's and mercury our streams!"

'Hand over your money, and beware, I have a toaster and I'm not afraid to use it!'

"It must be his beeper."

Cartoon characters unable to instantly recover from catastrophic injuries support group.

I picked up all your neighbors' shopping circulars, Nana. Thank you! Put them in my trunk. We'll take them to recycling. Isn't the recycling place that way? He runs the firm that sends them!

Now this is Dr. Brainstorm, he's trying to breed a moth that will eat synthetics.

'Right I'm off on my hols...I've left the numbers for the airline and the hotel and you've got my mobile, the back-up mobile, my wife's mobile and I'll be checking my e-mails daily!'

'Revenge will be mine.'

'I don't take telemarketing calls during dinner time. Can I call you back during your dinner time?'

Wicked E number in an ingredients

"I own you, homework assignment!"

'Have we been dumping chemicals in the swamp?'

The Ultimate Pessimist: "The glass is half empty and what's in it is toxic."

'Baxter wouldn't hurt a fly. Unfortunately fleas are another matter.'

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

I'm self employed being self employed

'Ugh...I hate phone solicitors.'

'Hello, I'm phoning from my car '.

"I swear, they will pay for what happened to Rudolph!"

"I hide his phone before we go on walks. That way I have his undivided attention."

"I understand you'se has asked to be removed from our mailing list."