Unlucky Incident Aficionado Gifts

The first car accident.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Bad Interview Technique

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

The hall of bad ideas.

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Let’s try another one. Jerry blinked, Kate’s giving Jon the finger, and Jess is choking."

A close encounter of the awkward kind

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

spellchecker

Spinach Dating.

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

"Michael. ... That's my sleazeball of an ex-husband's name."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

Lion Toupee

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

Gavin was keen to make a good impression on his first day at work.

The originator of the office birthday party.

"Just don't be yourself."

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'