
'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'
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'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'
"I'd like to bounce a check."
"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."
"I'll just leave you two alone to work this out."
"Hey, Tim. Nice to finally put a face to Emily’s disdain."
"I know pain, Jessica. I've had my ear pierced."
"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"
'What's a lovely girl like me doing in a place like this? How should I know, you brought me here!'
'It's not you, Frank... it's your little cock...'
"Hey, isn't that your "ex" over the road?"
"Fancy a quickie?"
"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"
"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."
"I hope you don't call that a party face."
"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."
"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"
"Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact..."
Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.
'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'
'Maybe you need to practice walking.'
Turtle Blind dates
"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"
'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'
"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."
"But he's no longer with us."
'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'
Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.
'En-counter'
"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"
'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'
'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'
'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'
Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.
The originator of the office birthday party.
"Just don't be yourself."
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