Unlucky Incident Aficionado T-Shirts

Stepping on rake in the middle of the desert.

The first car accident.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Bad Interview Technique

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

The hall of bad ideas.

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

Spinach Dating.

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

"Let’s try another one. Jerry blinked, Kate’s giving Jon the finger, and Jess is choking."

A close encounter of the awkward kind

spellchecker

Lion Toupee

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"Michael. ... That's my sleazeball of an ex-husband's name."

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

"Thank goodness! I thought that day would never end!"

Gavin was keen to make a good impression on his first day at work.

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

The originator of the office birthday party.

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"Just don't be yourself."