Accident Scene Aficionado T-Shirts

Treacle leaking from a crashed tanker

The first car accident.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Oedipus

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

The hall of bad ideas.

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"Fasten your seat belt."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

"It's called being preemptive."

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

Drop dead gorgeous

"The third act could use more drama, Sophocles. Try putting in a voter referendum."

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

Crime

"You see - this machine can cut your work force in half!"

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'It appears that he was given payback by his trophies.'

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

Pinocchio goes on holiday.

"Nobody leave this room."

"I take it this is your first day as a scene of crimes officer?"

'Better call the coroner, Mahoney... I can't tell if this is a homicide or some sicko's idea of romance.'

Frosty Had It Coming, See?

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing