University Spirit Aficionados Gifts

Harvard Waiting List

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Teacher and students.

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Med School Mascots.

"I love college."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

The Dean of Physics Demonstrates the Basic Premise of Give and Take, And in Particular Take, To Professor Kott.

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

Branded? Nah, that there's a decal where my kid goes to college. OU.

Not publishing at your university? Is that what they mean when they say they're cracking down on white collar crime?

How to Tell If Your Teacher Is A Leftist

Bumper Sticker Show Off.

'Please continue your education. I like working at this university.'

"Are you sure her voicemail didn't say to 'bring a rose'?"

All Hail the Matriarchy

'It's outrageous - they don't want to be proper students like us at all - they come here to work!'

'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'