University Navigators T-Shirts

To protect the ears of college admissions officers, parents are asked to step into a sound-proof booth before looking at tuition prices.

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Continuing education.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

Books 'n' Carrots

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

"I was curious, so I went to the University to listen to a course on Radar techniques..."

'I'm enrolling in an online course to learn how to apply for a loan for an online university.'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Your lips still say "No," but you started out with six exclamation points above your head and now you're down to one. !

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

Let's start a book group to read stuff that will help us cope with our lives. Like? You know: Self-help books on housekeeping, child-rearing and navigating difficult workplace situations. Suggestions? Yeah. Jane Eyre, Gone with the Wind and The Devil Wears Prada. The great books series.

Are you really here?

Pete's trying to groom himself"

Gone Lecturin'

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

"Nice putt."

"Are you any good at closing a sail."

Opportunity to pursue other options, next exit.

"No, I don't have a scanner you can borrow."

'You are supposed to be here.'

Part-time, Associate, Tenured.

"Now that my college of choice no longer requires the SAT, I'm relying more than ever on grade inflation."

"There are some folks waiting to play through."

'According to the map, we're about to sail off the end of the earth.'