University Faculty Day Gifts

'This part was tenure.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'C'mon get it straight.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'But I digress...'

I will study my speling words...

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Team Leader

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

Pi Ala Mode.

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

The best PE teacher in the World.

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'