University Faculty Day Gifts

'This part was tenure.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'C'mon get it straight.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I will study my speling words...

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Team Leader

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

Pi Ala Mode.

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

The best PE teacher in the World.

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.