Faculty Fun-times Gifts

'Before our principal addresses the faculty, there's something important that has to be said.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

'This part was tenure.'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'....and that's our CEO. He's trying to find a corporate direction.'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

I've refiled all your letters under L.

Baseball players and their qualifications.

Office worker chips a golf ball into in tray on a desk at work.

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

'In case the guys organize a game.'

When we said we wanted you to have more fun training we didn't mean THAT much fun.

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

'I need you to start thinking outside the imaginary box.'

Rabbit ears behind boss

"I'm introducing EXTREME casual Fridays."

'So, Bixbey! Caught you at trying out my desk again, have I?'

Academic Jeopardy - "Reality divided by two gives us this truth."

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."