University Dropout Gifts

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

"If I could quit tomorrow, I'd be gone yesterday."

"I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking."

"I'd like to stay, sir, but time is running out if I want to start a rock group."

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

"Get in step."

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Is he sitting?'

The Still Life Revolts

'Oh him? That's Frank. My parents made me take in a boarder to cover the cost of my car insurance.'

"Someday I'll buy a little place in the country and take my finger off the Zeitgeist."

'Did the mail come?'

Parents happy that student has dropped out of university.

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

'... So then, I dropped out of university and hooked up with this nudist colony.'

"You're always trying too hard, Eddie!"

"Not bad, but I said, 'Stay'."

"I stopped going to yoga when they told me I had to turn my phone off."

Of course everyone likes you. You quit law school.

"I gave up yoga when I found out walking around with a yoga mat is not considered yoga."

"After dropping out of obedience school, my life just went downhill..."

'Rusty, stay!'

'Did you really? I flunked out of Bob Jones, too!'

'I hope he's taking this class pass/fail.'

Kids Nowadays.

"Dad, I took the money out of my college fund, but I decided not to go to college."

"I flunked out my last semester."

Forget The Diet And Bake Zum Pies!

'I never finished college, but the $60,000 my parents spent on my education should count for something.'

'I bit them and ran!' 'While the Doberman was giving them trouble, I bolted!'

"Can you tell me the first thing you did wrong?"