Unique Identity Defender Pillows

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

'I'll have to keep my name after we're married.'

Man losing his honesty

Scott Walker keeps his job.

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

'. . . but I didn't belong to the union, so a scab stole my job!!'

'Can't say. It's private.'

"Which version of yourself was the one who sabotaged the relationship?"

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

'Sure I submitted somebody else's resum? - I'm the victim of a stolen identity.'

Home/work masks.

'What do you mean... You sent the rest of the uniform to the dry cleaners?'

'You fool! -- This man is obviously an impostor!'

"Just put in 'guy who wears a toilet on his back' and I should pop right up."

'But my friends call me Lefty.'

"Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back at an on-line shopping center."

"Here lies Barry and his several social media identities."

'Not just your identity. I also stole your vibe.'

"Actually, it's Paul E."

"You look a lot like one of us," this guy said. "Are you a Roscoe?"

"You can't call me a mongrel anymore- it's not PC. These days I'm a hybrid."