Identity Champion Pillows

Others will fight for you

'Who gets the decaf?'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

Same Sex Wedding

Extreme valentine enthusiast.

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"The individual cheese slice. Oddly, not the first choice for the truly individual."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

The Mr. Bates we know and love isn't in but you may speak with his doppelganger.

"I'm gay and I'm a caterer, so it's a real win-win."

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'Do you take credit for things that others have done?'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

A man on a desert island fashions a bikini for himself.

"It turns out my last name is actually Clausbaum."

'He needs a domain name.'

'I believe honesty is the best policy.'

"Which one of us is me?"

'Sure I submitted somebody else's resum? - I'm the victim of a stolen identity.'

The coolest thing you can do is be yourself

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

Norm was starting to doubt the relevancy of his new perm. Sure it made him stand out, but somehow he felt the others wouldn't approve.