Identity Champion Gifts

What Does God Know?

Others will fight for you

'Who gets the decaf?'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

Same Sex Wedding

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

Extreme valentine enthusiast.

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"The individual cheese slice. Oddly, not the first choice for the truly individual."

Cybervegan Caf

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

The Mr. Bates we know and love isn't in but you may speak with his doppelganger.

'Are you having this identity crisis because you current identity sucks?'

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

'Do you take credit for things that others have done?'

"I'm gay and I'm a caterer, so it's a real win-win."

A man on a desert island fashions a bikini for himself.

Mr. Hillary Clinton

"It turns out my last name is actually Clausbaum."

'He needs a domain name.'

'I believe honesty is the best policy.'

"Which one of us is me?"

"Harold keeps googling his name. He's trying to find himself."

'Sure I submitted somebody else's resum? - I'm the victim of a stolen identity.'

The coolest thing you can do is be yourself

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"