Unique Grieving Gifts

Woman dancing on a grave - 'We all express our grief in different ways...'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"I know. I miss him, too."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Grief counselling'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Sorry, wrong room."

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'I don't understand it! On earth he was deathly afraid of flying.'

"He had a full two weeks."

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

"Sure, it's disrespectful, but knowing old scamp, he'd want us to dig up his bones."

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

Hedgehog Mortuary.

"He leaves behind a wife, two kids, three grandkids, and a 239-day streak on Duolingo."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Viking Funeral

The Invention of Country Music.

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''