Unique Grieving Gifts

Woman dancing on a grave - 'We all express our grief in different ways...'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I know. I miss him, too."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Grief counselling'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"Sorry, wrong room."

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'I don't understand it! On earth he was deathly afraid of flying.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"He leaves behind a wife, two kids, three grandkids, and a 239-day streak on Duolingo."

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

The Invention of Country Music.

"He had a full two weeks."

"Sure, it's disrespectful, but knowing old scamp, he'd want us to dig up his bones."

Viking Funeral

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'