Bereavement Gifts

"No, the other one."

They were sad when they found out their Grandfather had died in an earthquake.

'Oh so now he buys me flowers.'

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

'...'The car's alright, but your husband's a write-off'... Frankly I think you could have put it better...'

"We never say 'death'—we prefer 'deadness.' "

"I already know he's gone — it's been on the Internet."

"If he'd worked for a few more years he might have got a decent state pension...But then he goes and dies on me at the tender age of 97!"

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

Man buying a mourning-band from a hatter

Man and woman at funeral parlor see sign, 'Ask about our Layaway Plan'.

"I trust my late husband didn't leave any nasty surprises?"

'I'm surprised it's closed. Didn't think he would ever shut up.'

"He's left you his sperm"

'I heard you were available.'

"He never knew what hit him."

"The good news is you caught the less severe variant."

"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."

It gets easier.

White Wine Wisdom.

"Sorry I'm Late."

'Grief counselling'

"Hey. Does this mean visiting hours are over?"

"Pop-Pop's in the Cloud now, sweetheart."

"Thank you. His passing was quite sudden."

Sometimes I wonder what he meant by that. Wish You Were Here, Dear.

I need to take some bereavement time off. "Bereavement time"? Let me check

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

J. W. Hansen & Co. Funeral Directors-Mortuary

+6 Million Covid Deaths

"But I never saw Jim happier than he was during various sex acts."

"His last words were: Tell Martha to pay the doctors first."

"Finally, Honey – an end to your snoring."

"He had a full two weeks."

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."