Unintended Pregnancy Gifts

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Smartphone Sonogram

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

"Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split."

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

Junior Doctor.

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

May the force be with you