Expectant Parenthood Gifts

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They grow up so fast."

Cry babies.

The Baby Walker

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'