Expectant Fatherhood Gifts

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

Older Dads

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"That's mine!"

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"