Expecting Father Gifts

"It's a dependent!"

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'This is probably the only time I'll be chauffeur driven and I can't even look out the window!'

'As long as it's got six fingers and eighteen toes...'

'Sometimes I think you'll be sorry when the baby gets here.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"That's mine!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.