Soon-to-be Father Gifts

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

In the DNA Kitchen

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"They look so young and helpless."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Which one's yours?"

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

"So! When's the big day?"

"It's a dependent!"

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Olga's Biological Clocks.

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

Daisy Diaper Service

Push, push, push...

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

Baby Footballer