Father-to-be Gifts

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

A father pushes his baby on a swing

"Did you want to know if the baby's a boy or a girl?"

Maternity Ward - door sign reads "Push, go on, push!"

"Six down, three to go!!"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

In the DNA Kitchen

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"They look so young and helpless."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

"So! When's the big day?"

"It's a dependent!"

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."