Father-to-be T-Shirts

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

A father pushes his baby on a swing

Maternity Ward - door sign reads "Push, go on, push!"

"Six down, three to go!!"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

In the DNA Kitchen

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"They look so young and helpless."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"So! When's the big day?"

"It's a dependent!"

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

Daisy Diaper Service